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S3 E6. Big Decisions. Why are We So Obsessed with What Other People Think?

What Do You Rely on to Make Big Decisions?

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Just A Girl Who Loves Jesus

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This Post Helps You Complete Week 6


While we each make our own decisions, I don't think most of recognize how much we rely on other people's opinions or concern for what other people think. While accountability to others can be helpful, it can take us on a dark path when we step into people pleasing.


As much as I'd like to think I am immune to people pleasing, it hits me in the most unusual times. I feel particularly vulnerable anytime I post something on social media. Posting on social media, for Chicks, can be one of the places that hits me the hardest.


There are times when it feels like I had a great idea, but it didn't get the likes I expected or the response I wanted. I have to constantly remind myself that it doesn't matter if I get a ton of views, as long as I am doing what God is leading me to do.


It would be easy to try to jump on trends or push things to be edgier to try to capture people's attention. But that wouldn't fit with my ministry or what I feel called to do. I have no desire to be famous. God has called me to help young women discover how powerful they are through faith in Christ.


If my frustration or people pleasing starts leading my decisions, I know I will get really off track. You might be wondering how I know this. Let me share a story with you.


Story Time:

About 10 years ago I tried to get my novel published by working with an agent, attending a Christian writers conference, and reading books on how to get published.

Through that process, I started to learn all the pieces of having a successful career as a Christian writer.


As a part of that process, I wrote an entire book that God never asked me to write because I was told that how the process worked. In my attempt to do what I felt called to do, which was publish my novel, I ended up writing a memoir about my journey with Jesus. It wasn't like writing a book was a terrible thing to do, but it wasn't what God was asking me to do.


I wrote a whole book because it was what publisher expected and what the market wanted. At the end of it, I felt so much confusion about where God was calling me. I cried and felt really frustrated.


One night, as I was talking to the Lord at 3am, he said, "I never asked you to write that book." It hit me that I was following a track that I thought I was supposed to be on because that is what people told me I needed to do. The problem, it wasn't where Jesus was leading me to go.


Chicks is such a unique calling that I can't do things the "traditional" way. I learned through that experience, that while it may work for other's to follow the typical publishing and ministry path, it wouldn't work for me.


I have to check myself often to remember "Who is in charge."


By embracing my responsibility to keep our emotions in check, it keeps me from letting them lead me off track. Through continual surrender, I learn to stay with Jesus, even when I don't understand what he is doing.

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The Shift to a Higher Way of Thinking


Emotions are a terrible leader because they often lie or get in the way of hearing Holy Spirit. Maturity is knowing when you need to slow down and get yourself under control, before dealing what the person that triggered you.




Steps to Allowing Jesus to Lead in Big Decisions that Have Triggered Your Emotions.

  1. Humility the most powerful way to access the wisdom of God. It is that understanding that true wisdom and self-control come from allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you.

  2. Recognize that you are feeling strong emotions. Check that your thoughts and desired actions are lining up with the mind of Christ.

  3. Try the PW2 (Pray, Wait, Wise Action) Strategy before you do anything.

    1. Breath.

    2. Drill down to a couple of specific things that are really upsetting you.

    3. Own your part in the problem.

    4. Take a moment to sort through whether something else could be adding to the strong emotion. (Are you having a stressful day?)

    5. Pray and thank God for good things that happened today.

    6. Ask Holy Spirit to fill you with peace and to give you a wise action.

    7. Do not act until you feel Holy Spirit's leading, rather than emotion.

  4. Beware: strong emotions can put sinful behavior patterns in the lead.

    1. Hate, revenge, blasting someone on social media or telling them off in person is out of bounds in the God's kingdom.

    2. It is best not to do anything or the bare minimum required, if you are feeling towards another person. It will be hard to show self-control when you're emotions are spinning out of control.


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