Teen Dating Advice
Falling in love is consuming, energizing, and complicated. The rush of emotions can leave you wondering what the future holds, whether he will be your boyfriend or will he be your forever man. Whatever long-term looks like in your world, you probably dream about it. But, how do you know it's safe to open your heart of to your significant other? In other words, how do you know if you should invest yourself in him?
If no one has told you, protecting your heart is so important. Look for a young man who is trying to follow Jesus and values you. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.(ESV)" Opening your mind, will, and affections to the wrong person can take a toll on your mental and emotional health.
8 Signs he should be your boyfriend
Is he willing to commit to you? If you have been talking for a while and he is still not willing to commit to you, don't waste your time. Never beg someone to be with you. The right guy will jump at the chance to be in a relationship with you.
You just know. He makes you feel secure, peaceful, and comfortable. You love being around him.
He is your best friend. The best relationships come out of deep friendship. You have open and honest communication.
You both have empathy and grace for each other. You both care about the other person's feelings. When one of you messes up, you can talk it through and forgive each other.
You respect each other. Quality relationships are formed out of treating each other with respect. Speaking to each other with kindness and maintaining good boundaries with the opposite sex are key.
You make each other better. You both should hold each other accountable and bring out the best in each other. If he brings out the worst in you, that is a red flag.
He loves you for who you are. And you love him for who he is. Trusting each other with your little quirks, secrets, and feelings is so important. If you can't be open and honest with each other, it will never work.
Your family and friends think he is a good fit for you. Family and close friends know you better than anyone. They also care that you are in a healthy relationship. If they approve, that is confirmation that you are on the right track. Listen to their concerns and seek to understand where they are coming from.
Are soul mates a thing?
Many are on a quest to find their "soul mate" or the person who "completes them", like the movie Jerry Maguire. Is that God's will is for us?
Truth: The concept of a soul mate comes from Greek Mythology and the famous philosopher Plato. “Love is born into every human being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature. Each of us, then, is a ‘matching half’ of a human whole…and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him.”
While Plato's theory sounds romantic, it's not the truth about how God designed us. Many use the soul mate idea to justify having sex with multiple partners, in order to find their other half. They move from relationship to relationship trying to find the perfect fit. Romantic ideas like this sound great, until they break your heart because they are just wrong.
God created us to be whole. In Ephesians 5:31 it says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Here we see that two individuals become one through the act of marriage.
There is a spiritual connection that occurs when a man and a woman become one. Matthew 19:6 says, "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. (ESV)”
They no longer have separate interests, but act as if they are one in their decisions.
Lasting Love comes through your connection with Christ.
Healthy relationships can be a beautiful part of your journey, if both of you are in connection with Christ. The safest place for you is to be in the center of God's will when it comes to love. Without him, you are bound to experience the extreme highs of emotions and the crash and burn when both of you put your needs ahead of the other person.
Allowing Holy Spirit to guide you, will help you set up healthy boundaries that allow you to experience the excitement of a relationship without the drama and dysfunction that typically comes. Invite God into every part of your relationship. Allow him to help you set your heart and mind on his good plans.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. (NIV)"
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